Welcome to the (monkey) Jungle
February 6th, 2010 at 12:00 pm by John
We were in Miami a few years ago for a Photoshop convention… well, I was in for a Photoshop convention. Brandy was there because the hotel was already paid for and she wanted to go to the beach.
Since I was busy the whole time we were there we didn’t have much time to get out and do anything interesting, but we did plan one little trip out to Key Largo or someplace to take a little SCUBA diving trip. We are both certified divers (or we were, I’m not sure how long these things last when you don’t do anything with it for 9 years). But the only diving either of us had done was for our certification tests in Balmorhea State Park in Balmorhea, TX featuring 3 different species of aquatic life.
Halfway there I called to double check our reservation and was told that it was canceled because not enough people were going. So we did what anyone would do.
We followed the Monkey Jungle signs.
Monkey Jungle: “Where Humans are Caged and Monkeys Run Wild!” is an experience to be had. Despite the tagline, the monkeys are actually enclosed in a much larger cage. Presumably to prevent them from being run over by cars or from giving people Ebola.
After signing over the lease to your car and purchasing a box of raisins you enter the path and, true to the motto you are surrounded side-and-top by cages and there are monkeys climbing everywhere. Hanging from the ceiling cages are tiny chains holding little cat dishes in which you place a raisin… then a monkey pulls the chain up hand-over-hand, takes the treat, and is bitten by a larger monkey and forced to forfeit the prize.
Here’s a little bit of advice: Do not stand directly beneath one of these monkey fights. They have very few tools with which to express their distaste and they use what they have to great effect.
There are also monkey shows where a monkey wrangler gathers all of his monkey minions to him from all around the park like some sort of primate Cinderella and throws fruit in a little pool so we can see them swim.
Afterwards we hit the strawberry farm that was on the way out of town and headed back to Miami Beach.
Not feeling particularly creative on this trip I decided to head back that way… I figured a Monkey Jungle (Where Humans are Caged and Monkeys Run Wild!) souvenir would have to be cooler than some beach trinket for Zane and we haven’t been able to locate this strawberry farm online to order more of their jam.
I arrived at Monkey Jungle (Where Humans are Caged and Monkeys Run Wild) and found a little stuffed monkey with a ‘Monkey Jungle’ t-shirt.
The t-shirt did not have the tag-line on it, but it was a very small t-shirt, so I let it slide.
I asked where the restroom was and the cashier told me it was on the other side of the gate and would I like to speak to a loan officer, but since I was making a purchase she allowed me to use the employee bathroom.
As I was using the restroom I glanced out the window to find two monkeys watching me. At first that made me very uncomfortable, but then I decided that people must watch them pee all day, so I guess turnabout is fair play.
Following the Monkey Jungle: Where Humans are Caged and Monkeys Run Wild! I proceeded to the strawberry patch where I bought some jam, some jelly, some strawberries, a strawberry milkshake, a strawberry cupcake, and a hot dog.
The day was over surprisingly early… before noon. Then again I left my hotel room at 5:30 in the morning, so I guess you could call it a full day. I stayed in the room the rest of the day reading my books and waiting to hear word on when the pictures will be taken.
You had better hope it’s soon, because I obviously have no problem writing very lengthy blogs about very mundane events when I’m bored. I haven’t really done anything else other than eat pizza tonight, but it was Dominos, and they do have that new recipe… just… hope…
(posted on automatic timer at noon on 2/6/2010. written on 2/1/2010)







